The pressure to succeed in today’s day and age is huge. Most people don’t realize it because it has become the norm, but from the time you’re in kindergarten it’s ingrained in you that you must succeed. Checkmarks, compliments and stickers equal success. As you get older you learn that ‘B’s are nice, but ‘A’s are better. ‘C’s and ‘D’s mean you need to try harder. You’re not good enough. Marks are the measuring stick you’re supposed to live up to. You’re constantly compared to the smart kid, or the stupid kid. Or maybe you are the smart kid, or the stupid kid. Somehow everybody always knows everyone else’s marks. After every evaluation it’s always, “Hey, what did you get?” You compare your marks to see how you measure up to society. It’s a big deal if you get a better mark than the smart kid, and an even bigger deal if you get a worse mark than the stupid kid. And if you don’t feel like sharing your mark with those who ask, people just assume you did horribly and don’t want to tell.
But who says the kid with the 60% didn’t try twice as hard as the kid with the 90%? Some kids are just smarter than others. Some things just come more naturally to others. For some kids, academia just isn’t their thing. And then there are some kids who are absolutely brilliant, but they don’t care enough to try. Others who aren’t as smart do everything to try and understand - ask questions, study for hours, and get a tutor - but they still can’t manage more than a 75%.
So what do the letters A-D or the percentages from 1-100 actually show or mean? It’s not like you can actually give an “‘A’ for effort,” because no one can truly know how much effort you put in or how hard you tried or if you honestly did your absolute best work or not. No one can know but you. So if a 45% truly is your best work, then society says you’re not good enough.
It is sad to see that this is how everyone is evaluated in school. School is the place where you are supposed to learn the important things that will help you through life, yet you’re measured strictly on your grades from the classroom. There’s no B+ for compassion, there’s no A- for loving others, and there’s no A+ for honesty. Math, science, and history marks are seemingly more important than your character.
As soon as you move beyond elementary school, you better know what program you’re taking, at which specific university, for how long, for which career, and all the prerequisites you need to get there. Not only that, but now your marks have to step it up too because now it “actually matters.” You need the best marks so you can get accepted to the best university, and if not then you can “settle” with college. Teachers and guidance counselors constantly remind you that you have to have the highest marks so that you can get into the best schools and make something of your life. They rarely if ever talk about finding your passion in life, or making a difference in the world. You must get into a good college or university. There’s no other option.
College and university aren’t exactly the most affordable options out there. It’s not like teenagers have $80 000 of spare change lying around. Maybe some do thanks to parents and relatives, but if not, then maybe you can’t go to the college or university that you’ve dreamed of. Even scholarships only go so far, and some people just can’t live with that kind of debt. So what about the kid whose dream it is to be a doctor, but their grades just don’t cut it? They’ve worked hard, done their best, and are eager to learn but their grades weren’t good enough to get into the program.
Similarly there’s the kid who has had a 95% average their entire life and has constantly been told of all the wonderful, magnificent careers they could go into - be a doctor, lawyer, you name it. But maybe they don’t want to be a doctor or a lawyer or a “you name it.” Maybe their passion in life is to be a garbage man. Is that wrong? People would tell them that it would be such a waste of a great mind for them to be a garbage man. It’s not exactly a millionaire’s job. And how is that fair to the people who want to be doctors or lawyers but they don’t have the money or grades to get there? Should you be a doctor or a lawyer then - because you can? Or what if someone’s passion in life is to be a housewife. Is that even acceptable anymore?
But society doesn’t tell you to find your passion. Society tells you to graduate from Harvard with a law degree, buy a fancy house and a fancy car, and start a nice little family with a nice retirement saving put away. Then you’ll be successful.
Society shouldn’t be able to define personal success. It shouldn’t be able to tell you whether or not you’re good enough. Yet for most people in today’s day and age it does.
So where did you graduate from? How much money do you make each year? Do you have a three-car garage? What have you got to show for your life?
Love this Jenelle!
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